so i saw "somthing happend on the way to the forum" last night
and had surg this morn
i am hungry
but still cant feel my tongue
and therfore cant eat.
fml
and so i found lyrics to the show..
i really hope i can eat soon.
. . . . . .
Something familiar,
Something peculiar,
Something for everyone:
A comedy tonight!
Something appealing,
Something appalling,
Something for everyone:
A comedy tonight!
Nothing with kings, nothing with crowns;
Bring on the lovers, liars and clowns!
Old situations,
New complications,
Nothing portentous or polite;
Tragedy tomorrow,
Comedy tonight!
--comedy tonight.
Love, they say,
Makes you pine away,
But you pine away with an idiotic grin.
I pine, I blush, I squeak, I squawk,
Today I woke too weak to walk.
What's love, I hear, I feel, I fear I'm in.
Ahh...
See what I mean?
Da da da da da da dum...
I hum a lot too.
I'm dazed I'm pale, I'm sick, I'm sore,
I've never felt so well before!
What's love, I hear, I feel, I fear,
I know I am-- I'm sure--I mean-- I hope--I trust--
I pray I must
Be in!
--love, i hear
12/3/10
living in a dream - finger eleven
I was never the kind
To be taking my time
Any place that's worth a damn
And today's another day
That I've gone and thrown away
And I don't care where it lands
'Cause I'm just thinking about us
I've been living in a dream about you
And now I know you were all I ever wanted on my mind
And if I never see
My own reality
Well, I'm okay to leave it all behind
I'll be gone for a time
Tuning out for a while
It's gonna look like I'm not all there
I've decided that today
Seems alright to piss away
Ignore my empty stare
'Cause I'm just thinking about us
I've been living in a dream about you
And now I know you were all I ever wanted on my mind
And if I never see
My own reality
Well, I'm okay to leave it all behind
i hate not knowing what i want... or well knowing and waiting just to make sure...
Motley
To be taking my time
Any place that's worth a damn
And today's another day
That I've gone and thrown away
And I don't care where it lands
'Cause I'm just thinking about us
I've been living in a dream about you
And now I know you were all I ever wanted on my mind
And if I never see
My own reality
Well, I'm okay to leave it all behind
I'll be gone for a time
Tuning out for a while
It's gonna look like I'm not all there
I've decided that today
Seems alright to piss away
Ignore my empty stare
'Cause I'm just thinking about us
I've been living in a dream about you
And now I know you were all I ever wanted on my mind
And if I never see
My own reality
Well, I'm okay to leave it all behind
i hate not knowing what i want... or well knowing and waiting just to make sure...
Motley
11/18/10
10/24/10
Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt, you're in my heart now
through everything last year, you got me through with my sanity somewhat intact.
i will always love you for that. and dont want to ever see the day that your not one of my closest friends.
... you dont have this link, so its somewhat pointless writing it here.
but thankyou. i have no idea what i would have done without you to come crying to later.
love you,
Motley
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt, you're in my heart now
through everything last year, you got me through with my sanity somewhat intact.
i will always love you for that. and dont want to ever see the day that your not one of my closest friends.
... you dont have this link, so its somewhat pointless writing it here.
but thankyou. i have no idea what i would have done without you to come crying to later.
love you,
Motley
10/3/10
and the walls started closing in
question: who is mahrdh?
this next paragraph is copy right of Atria books, Anthony Bozza and the forever awesome Mr, Tommy Fucking Lee as this is from his interesting book Tommy land, which i recommend but no to those faint hearted.... (I'm not getting paid to say this FYI, i just like the paragraph)
so this is after telling us how he did this magic trick
"Oh, fuck, I wasn't supposed to tell you how we did that. Sorry. While we're at it, there is no Santa Clause, there is no magic, and there is no fucking Easter Bunny. The Tooth Fairy was your goddamed mom, storks don't deliver babies, Pop Rocks and Coke wont kill you, there is no Middle Earth, Mikey never liked Life cereal, you cant get pregnant from kissing, you wont go blind from jerking of, and when Jack and Jill tumbled down the hill, they was definitely fuckin'"
so i hope im not fucking with some copy write thing, but you should go buy the book (unless your moh or ev, you 2 have enough shit in Ur dirty minds already) but its interesting to see how Tommy writes things, he goes from like soulful romantic to well stuff ev/moh haven't even thought of yet... and things i defiantly didn't need to read.
and on to my life. well i celebrated Emily's super sweet sixteen at wonderland today. (Madison don't get mad at me) HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN EMILY!!! (sorry Harry's to far away so no birthday sex for you)
and on the topic of birthdays Emily and Maddy have decided that my next party will b a pole dancing lesson.... i dunno guys what do you think about this?
i have a strange feeling my rents wont approve....
this next paragraph is copy right of Atria books, Anthony Bozza and the forever awesome Mr, Tommy Fucking Lee as this is from his interesting book Tommy land, which i recommend but no to those faint hearted.... (I'm not getting paid to say this FYI, i just like the paragraph)
so this is after telling us how he did this magic trick
"Oh, fuck, I wasn't supposed to tell you how we did that. Sorry. While we're at it, there is no Santa Clause, there is no magic, and there is no fucking Easter Bunny. The Tooth Fairy was your goddamed mom, storks don't deliver babies, Pop Rocks and Coke wont kill you, there is no Middle Earth, Mikey never liked Life cereal, you cant get pregnant from kissing, you wont go blind from jerking of, and when Jack and Jill tumbled down the hill, they was definitely fuckin'"
so i hope im not fucking with some copy write thing, but you should go buy the book (unless your moh or ev, you 2 have enough shit in Ur dirty minds already) but its interesting to see how Tommy writes things, he goes from like soulful romantic to well stuff ev/moh haven't even thought of yet... and things i defiantly didn't need to read.
and on to my life. well i celebrated Emily's super sweet sixteen at wonderland today. (Madison don't get mad at me) HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN EMILY!!! (sorry Harry's to far away so no birthday sex for you)
and on the topic of birthdays Emily and Maddy have decided that my next party will b a pole dancing lesson.... i dunno guys what do you think about this?
i have a strange feeling my rents wont approve....
9/19/10
Here we stand, worlds apart....
so the summers over, and schools begun.
i thought i while ago, that i hadn't changed much this summer but now i know i was wrong, i know now i changed this summer
maybe for better
maybe for worse
either way i still cant wait to get the fuck out of here.
....Break those chains that bind you
yesterday i witnessed the "changes" some people went through this summer
and for the most part I'm disappointed.
but hey its their life i guess.
i can write a whole post about why I'm against it.
i can write a whole post to try and get them to stop.
more importantly trying to make him stop.
iv lost so much because of smoking.
and now iv lost another.
....You know I still love you
i cant stand watching my friends throw their life away.
die faster.
leave me faster.
OH but there cigarettes without nicotine!
yeah its still going to kill you.
and ill have to sit and watch.
again.
....If you must go, I wish you love
think of all the people you'll hurt.
think of all the people who are allready hurt.
think about the life you could miss.
....And went our separate ways
please, i cant stand to bury another loved one because of this.
Motley
i thought i while ago, that i hadn't changed much this summer but now i know i was wrong, i know now i changed this summer
maybe for better
maybe for worse
either way i still cant wait to get the fuck out of here.
....Break those chains that bind you
yesterday i witnessed the "changes" some people went through this summer
and for the most part I'm disappointed.
but hey its their life i guess.
i can write a whole post about why I'm against it.
i can write a whole post to try and get them to stop.
more importantly trying to make him stop.
iv lost so much because of smoking.
and now iv lost another.
....You know I still love you
i cant stand watching my friends throw their life away.
die faster.
leave me faster.
OH but there cigarettes without nicotine!
yeah its still going to kill you.
and ill have to sit and watch.
again.
....If you must go, I wish you love
think of all the people you'll hurt.
think of all the people who are allready hurt.
think about the life you could miss.
....And went our separate ways
please, i cant stand to bury another loved one because of this.
Motley
9/14/10
9/9/10
just some thoughts
సో హుమ్మ్ స్కూల్
లమో థిస్ ఇస్ వేఇర్డ్
ohhh english hi.
from the begining...
school. shit. and other words...
^ i did not know i could do this language thing...
unfortunatly it dousnt do that to italian. and i dont even know if its right
but pretty cool eh?
ohhh sombody skratched my disk. my sister shall die. idiot dousnt know how to keep things not broken.
this is pretty cool too.
thats just weird.
so about school.
BIO is pretty ok, im allready confused confused thu. ohhh i GLITCHED. :)
MATH is surprisingly less confusing and science is my better subject.
PARENTING should go die in a whole. i dont wnat children anyways
ANTHRO/SOC/PSYCH could be so much better if i didnt have hogendoorn. who is getting ride of her tounge ring. and had her nose peirced. thankyou i will now never get that peirced. though i was previously convinced not to get anymore anyways.
lolz not even cole could convince me not to get my navel peirced. NOT THE POINT.
actually no im talking about that point. i bought this really pretty blue gemmed navel ring. so i decided to put it on this morn. cuz i bought 4 and im saving the best/my fav (other than my dice) anyways i put it in and i dont like it. the barbell is to long so it just dousnt fit well. but i loved the blue dangling one and the butterfly. and tom ill wear the best, i hope. i havent put it in yet. it could epically fail like the one today. hope it dousnt.
im ending this how my friends do. so
DEAR BLANK.
i didnt care, i could get over it. i could look past it. its not like we were...
theres no back, just forwards.
this is my last post to you.
but theres just one thing i want to know.
its been bugging me
and its probably not even close to what your thinking.
or could be, but i doubt it.
but the time to talk passed. awhile ago.
but hey, im ready if you ever want to.
Motley
... im realizing that you dont even have the link to this. so its kinda pointless to write... well its here when you find it i guess.
లమో థిస్ ఇస్ వేఇర్డ్
ohhh english hi.
from the begining...
school. shit. and other words...
^ i did not know i could do this language thing...
unfortunatly it dousnt do that to italian. and i dont even know if its right
but pretty cool eh?
ohhh sombody skratched my disk. my sister shall die. idiot dousnt know how to keep things not broken.
this is pretty cool too.
thats just weird.
so about school.
BIO is pretty ok, im allready confused confused thu. ohhh i GLITCHED. :)
MATH is surprisingly less confusing and science is my better subject.
PARENTING should go die in a whole. i dont wnat children anyways
ANTHRO/SOC/PSYCH could be so much better if i didnt have hogendoorn. who is getting ride of her tounge ring. and had her nose peirced. thankyou i will now never get that peirced. though i was previously convinced not to get anymore anyways.
lolz not even cole could convince me not to get my navel peirced. NOT THE POINT.
actually no im talking about that point. i bought this really pretty blue gemmed navel ring. so i decided to put it on this morn. cuz i bought 4 and im saving the best/my fav (other than my dice) anyways i put it in and i dont like it. the barbell is to long so it just dousnt fit well. but i loved the blue dangling one and the butterfly. and tom ill wear the best, i hope. i havent put it in yet. it could epically fail like the one today. hope it dousnt.
im ending this how my friends do. so
DEAR BLANK.
i didnt care, i could get over it. i could look past it. its not like we were...
theres no back, just forwards.
this is my last post to you.
but theres just one thing i want to know.
its been bugging me
and its probably not even close to what your thinking.
or could be, but i doubt it.
but the time to talk passed. awhile ago.
but hey, im ready if you ever want to.
Motley
... im realizing that you dont even have the link to this. so its kinda pointless to write... well its here when you find it i guess.
9/7/10
"cosa vuoi?"
voi
im sorry i couldnt answer when you asked.
and theres so much more i want to write.
want to say. need to say.
but theres no point
i lost the chance
and have to move on
"And when you left you kissed my lips"
after that day i thought we could make it,
even though iv known awhile we wouldnt, always knew it would end. always hoped it wouldnt.
i guess i was wrong, i guess i was right.
Goodbye, my almost lover
Motley
im sorry i couldnt answer when you asked.
and theres so much more i want to write.
want to say. need to say.
but theres no point
i lost the chance
and have to move on
"And when you left you kissed my lips"
after that day i thought we could make it,
even though iv known awhile we wouldnt, always knew it would end. always hoped it wouldnt.
i guess i was wrong, i guess i was right.
Goodbye, my almost lover
Motley
9/5/10
you ever seem to have one of those days?
its weird. for over two months i had this charm on my bracelet
it was meant for a necklace but nothing can take the place of my locket
so i put it on my bracelet.
i got used to it there.
i would play with it much like i did with the locket.
when i was stressed, sad, angry. it gave me strength.
and now its no longer there.
it has no right to be there anymore and so its gone
i tried grabbing it this morning, panicked.
before i remembered i took it off
i miss it.
i want my locket back, the rope is of no help.
it has little meaning to me.
it was meant for a necklace but nothing can take the place of my locket
so i put it on my bracelet.
i got used to it there.
i would play with it much like i did with the locket.
when i was stressed, sad, angry. it gave me strength.
and now its no longer there.
it has no right to be there anymore and so its gone
i tried grabbing it this morning, panicked.
before i remembered i took it off
i miss it.
i want my locket back, the rope is of no help.
it has little meaning to me.
9/2/10
merry go round
its funny, i was never able to fight before i lost somthing.
and now i had the chance.
but i didnt know what to do.
i should have.
but would it have changed anything?
probably not.
Motley
and now i had the chance.
but i didnt know what to do.
i should have.
but would it have changed anything?
probably not.
Motley
8/31/10
7/31/10
waiting
waiting for my stomach to completly heal
waiting for joclyns birthday. she will love my present :)
waiting to go to madisons cottage
waiting to see if i passed
waiting for camp to end
waiting for the both of us to be home
waiting to see him
waiting to see what happens next
i hate waiting im not a patient person, never have been.
i keep starting letters, none of which will ever bee seen, but it makes me feel better to write them. just pretend for awhile i have somone to send them to. someone who likes me for me, who makes me feel important when will is see him again?
i have so much to talk about and so little time and no place to write it. i wont be back on here again though. not for awhile. not till after camp. not till i see him again. not till we figure things out.
waiting for joclyns birthday. she will love my present :)
waiting to go to madisons cottage
waiting to see if i passed
waiting for camp to end
waiting for the both of us to be home
waiting to see him
waiting to see what happens next
i hate waiting im not a patient person, never have been.
i keep starting letters, none of which will ever bee seen, but it makes me feel better to write them. just pretend for awhile i have somone to send them to. someone who likes me for me, who makes me feel important when will is see him again?
i have so much to talk about and so little time and no place to write it. i wont be back on here again though. not for awhile. not till after camp. not till i see him again. not till we figure things out.
7/21/10
7/13/10
ITALY
Hey chickadees I'm in Italy as most of you shall know we left Rome yetirday for the resort I live it here the beach is pretty but like allright I have class in like 10 minutes so we like flew to rime and got there at like 730 am ish and I didn't sleep at all on the airplane so anyways we chilled in the airport while waiting for the bus then chilled in the hotel till we left for lunch at the Spanish steps my friend n I didn't eat lunch but had gelato instead. And looked around we then went back to the hotel and chilled in the room and unpacked I like my roomins ther pretty damn funny. But anyways in Rome we went to like the same dinner place for all three dinners. On Saturday we went to the Vatican. Sunday we attempted to go to church but they were behind and we had a tour to go to so I diddnt have to attend church *victory dance* we then went for lunch in the sketch train station before coliseum forum tour. Our giude sucked so much it was horrible. After that was dinner then party in dillans room which was fun. His roomies hot. I feel bad for thinking that actually, but I guess I'm allowed right? Dn I hate this I wanna hate him but i can understand his thought process I just don't like it. Anyways on a better note iv been chillen on a beach and my short tan has deepend cuz of Rome and then again at the beach it's like omg tan the part that's not tanned!!! Anyways I bought a shirt it's sexy, I haven't seen anything fir mads or joc and maybe mlee since that's common soon to. Anyways class write latter
Motley
7/5/10
pretty as a picture, she is like a golden ring
soo um i know i lied about not writing till after i leave but this is important...
whoever would like to read my 3 and 3/4 page presentation of ancient roman gods and goddesses email me and ill send it to you, if you could help with grammar, spelling, and any pointers on making it flow together better, also i need a conclusion. i started this thing at like 10 am this morning and i only finished it now.
its kinda long and pretty boring, i have no idea how my teacher thinks we could hold the classes attention for a solid 15-20 minutes!!!
umm if anyone wants to help it would be appreciated!
im gonna you all! *sad face*
whoever would like to read my 3 and 3/4 page presentation of ancient roman gods and goddesses email me and ill send it to you, if you could help with grammar, spelling, and any pointers on making it flow together better, also i need a conclusion. i started this thing at like 10 am this morning and i only finished it now.
its kinda long and pretty boring, i have no idea how my teacher thinks we could hold the classes attention for a solid 15-20 minutes!!!
umm if anyone wants to help it would be appreciated!
im gonna you all! *sad face*
6/26/10
ipod (this is just a curtessy call)
I now have this on my iPod where. I'm writing now... So I can officially update you guys on my escapades in the other continent YAY! damn it won't let me do the whole side keyboard thing... Stupid app. Anyways this will prob b my last post unroll I leave. I know you will all miss my completly pointless posts.....IlyMotleyI find it kinda scaryy that the music on shuffle almost always fits well with my posts.. :s
lol so yeah the ^ was from my ipod.. the enters apparently dont show up here, so im sorry for any confusion, also i cannot put motley in red. and you must be wondering why im writing her on the comp now. well im not doing another post so i decided to add more here. and its sooo much easyer to write like wtf it wont let me do the side keyboard? it will take forrever to write something so short! but any who.
moh keeps commenting on my msn "this house is not a home" let me explain.
1) it is a song lyric
2) i just live here, and have waited my intire life to move out, unlike my sister who says she will stay here or at Granny's till she dies or something.
3) home is where ever i am happy, these includes things like:
a)camp
b)Italy
c)his arms
d)Madison's house [i don't know why; but the whole family loves me :)]
e)thunder bay, seriously i don't know why that place feels like home, it just douse don't question me.
Motley
lol so yeah the ^ was from my ipod.. the enters apparently dont show up here, so im sorry for any confusion, also i cannot put motley in red. and you must be wondering why im writing her on the comp now. well im not doing another post so i decided to add more here. and its sooo much easyer to write like wtf it wont let me do the side keyboard? it will take forrever to write something so short! but any who.
moh keeps commenting on my msn "this house is not a home" let me explain.
1) it is a song lyric
2) i just live here, and have waited my intire life to move out, unlike my sister who says she will stay here or at Granny's till she dies or something.
3) home is where ever i am happy, these includes things like:
a)camp
b)Italy
c)his arms
d)Madison's house [i don't know why; but the whole family loves me :)]
e)thunder bay, seriously i don't know why that place feels like home, it just douse don't question me.
Motley
6/23/10
the hardest ones to love are the ones that need it most
do you ever think back on the past?
wonder. . .
who was there, who wasnt.
who you liked, who you hated.
now think on those people in the past, how close were you to them?
remember all those times you crashed at eachothers place,
or running on their street playing tag,
remember your inside jokes, your nicknames, your games
now think about why your not friends.
now i want you to think about what they ment to you, did you have this one friend that practicaly became your sister? your brother?
would you be able to walk up to them on the street or would you walk right by not knowing who that person was to you.
I had many people who where my brothers, none i would recognize today. i would walk by not knowing who i passed, not remembering what they ment to me, not recognizing their faces.
now dont get me wrong as a kid i had many sisters, only two i still know today.
but what hits me hard? why i cant put these guys out of my head? i dont know there faces, cant remember the names. but i remember all those times we spent near the ravine (but not to close) or on the trampoline. i loved them, i couldnt live without them.
they were my dads best friends sons, and another was my cousins bestfriend up in TB.
i dont know them today because of my parents. my parents took the most important part of me away. daddy got into a fight, theyv been friends since highschool, but one little fight tore my whole world apart. i thought they didnt want me. i didnt understand why we stoped visiting, why we wouldt go back, i was young around 8 or 9, but they were my brothers i needed them. i dont know exactly what i was told when i asked why we wernt at their place one weekend, it was there weekend. that summer we didnt go back to thunder bay, i had gone 4 straight years and didnt know why we didnt go back, i lost all my brothers but the one up there, i knew i could trust him to put me back together. he would show me he still loved me. we didnt go back. this time was my mothers fault, she hated my uncles girlfriend. my soul nearly died; i started doing really stupid things, just to show myself i was still alive...its a mricale i lived thru that. my stupid stunts got worse and worse till i stopped. i was the reason she got hurt, she nearly died because of me so i stopped came back to earth. i had lost everone but katie, because after that summer i started pulling from emily and christina. they were from that life; the happy one. i dont know why but my brain said to pull away, i couldnt let them leave me so i slowly left them.
i lost my bestfriends and a little part of myself that year. i stopped caring about myself, stopped caring about my health, my sanity. i lost everything but katie, she never let me down, tried to stop my fall. i started to learn to deal with it. i became friends with michal, leah and maddy. i stoped my stunts because. well thats somthing i wont talk about, not even to madison, not even to katie.
i was 8 or was i 9? that shows just how much a loss can effect a little girl. my hearts been sealed tight since then. my brain says "trust noone" still to this day because of what happend half my life ago. a little girl loves to freely, she sees these people all the time, anyweekend her father can drive them up really, but allways without fail on there weekend. i couldnt even tell you when that was anymore. and once there gone and she cant figure out why her heart gets broken. why dont they want to see me? dont they love me? and every weekend her father dousnt shout "in the car were seeing the trampoline man" she starts believeing it even more and more. that was my nikename for him, daddys bestfriend. this little girl lost the people she had let in, let in to her family but she never stoped freely loving not till her 14th birthday. this little girl was all grown up. she had mostly gotten over her losses, was friends with emily again, was still friends with maddy, and had many many more. all these people she loved so much. then it came. the day at the restaurant. her world died for the second time, came crubeling down around her. she barely kept from bawling right there in the restaurant. this little girls been through so much. she cant stand the first 2 weeks of christmas, hates her birthday and cant wait to move out of the house. she closed her heart since then,but let it open for one guy, he remindeded her of thunderbay, they met at camp. he left but by then she was used to it. used to losing people it only hurt for awhile what he did,only because of the way he did it. fucking coward.
you might want to know why im telling you this. writing it out for the whole world to see. it could be so any mothers or fathers who mightof come accross this blog via the next blog button they might know to not pull her or him away from the few people they needed, or atleast told them why they couldnt see them anymore. it could be to show why my walls are so high, why i dont trust easily. it could be because im sick and tired of keeping this all in. it could be because im learning to trust again, and i need help. it could be because i learnt that somtimes its best to lose things, forget things and move on. it could be to show people whov been thru this that they will learn to live, to survive. it could be to keep others who come across this from doing the same mistakes i did. the worst one was leaving emily, other than katie she was my best friend and all i had left. but i left her behind, why? i wouldnt live thru watching her walk away from me. it could be because iv finally learnt to get over heartbreak. it could be because im scared of what i was back then and i hope no one goes back. it could be to show why im against drugs in all forms.. and no i wasnt a druggie at age 9, but i lived for the high i got off my stunts...i was never afraid of my own safety, frankly im surprised i surived; looking back, she allmost died because she was coppying me, it was somthing i allways did, she tried it once. if mother wasnt there...
it could be a bunch of those things, it could be all, it could be one. but if anyone takes anything from this. know to love always and trust freely. dont do what i did. im still broken have been since the age of 8, im like "just alice" now with her "harbringer" i dealt, i survived; not sure how but i did. i will. iv seen my friend now with somthing of a broken heart she loves the wronge guy. and i know from my past, hearbreak wouldnt even hurt me not for more than a few days, im not skared anymore. iv lost so much i learnt to deal. it breaks my heart now to see her like this because i remember how i felt. but it taught me to be stronge. i guess im a fast learner in anything that dousnt involve school.
"to love is to destroy and to be loved is to be destroyed" if i have done anything in this but scare my friends and bf(doubt hes reading this, which is good) would be to show why i named my blog after this book quote. maybe it will now make sense to the masses.
im sorry if you people are now scared for my sanity or getting mad at me for this
but i needed it out, iv gone through every part of the healing process but the talking about it
im not good at talking, i write more its easyer than explaining.
im not crazy, im not insane, i wont spiral into myself again.
iv put this all behind me, and iv learnt, iv get my strength from my past.
the only thing that can leave me never wanting to leave my room, is always thinking about that day in the restaurant, always wondering if i could have kept her going longer, kept her with me, with stan and granny longer. its the one of two only. things that will ever again make me nearly katatonic, this i can promise you guys, this i can promise. i wont get lost again.
ill never get lost again.
Motley
p.s the "alice" thing was mentioning the characture in the SyFy movie Alice, its really quite great.. maybe better than tim burtons. go rent it.
wonder. . .
who was there, who wasnt.
who you liked, who you hated.
now think on those people in the past, how close were you to them?
remember all those times you crashed at eachothers place,
or running on their street playing tag,
remember your inside jokes, your nicknames, your games
now think about why your not friends.
now i want you to think about what they ment to you, did you have this one friend that practicaly became your sister? your brother?
would you be able to walk up to them on the street or would you walk right by not knowing who that person was to you.
I had many people who where my brothers, none i would recognize today. i would walk by not knowing who i passed, not remembering what they ment to me, not recognizing their faces.
now dont get me wrong as a kid i had many sisters, only two i still know today.
but what hits me hard? why i cant put these guys out of my head? i dont know there faces, cant remember the names. but i remember all those times we spent near the ravine (but not to close) or on the trampoline. i loved them, i couldnt live without them.
they were my dads best friends sons, and another was my cousins bestfriend up in TB.
i dont know them today because of my parents. my parents took the most important part of me away. daddy got into a fight, theyv been friends since highschool, but one little fight tore my whole world apart. i thought they didnt want me. i didnt understand why we stoped visiting, why we wouldt go back, i was young around 8 or 9, but they were my brothers i needed them. i dont know exactly what i was told when i asked why we wernt at their place one weekend, it was there weekend. that summer we didnt go back to thunder bay, i had gone 4 straight years and didnt know why we didnt go back, i lost all my brothers but the one up there, i knew i could trust him to put me back together. he would show me he still loved me. we didnt go back. this time was my mothers fault, she hated my uncles girlfriend. my soul nearly died; i started doing really stupid things, just to show myself i was still alive...its a mricale i lived thru that. my stupid stunts got worse and worse till i stopped. i was the reason she got hurt, she nearly died because of me so i stopped came back to earth. i had lost everone but katie, because after that summer i started pulling from emily and christina. they were from that life; the happy one. i dont know why but my brain said to pull away, i couldnt let them leave me so i slowly left them.
i lost my bestfriends and a little part of myself that year. i stopped caring about myself, stopped caring about my health, my sanity. i lost everything but katie, she never let me down, tried to stop my fall. i started to learn to deal with it. i became friends with michal, leah and maddy. i stoped my stunts because. well thats somthing i wont talk about, not even to madison, not even to katie.
i was 8 or was i 9? that shows just how much a loss can effect a little girl. my hearts been sealed tight since then. my brain says "trust noone" still to this day because of what happend half my life ago. a little girl loves to freely, she sees these people all the time, anyweekend her father can drive them up really, but allways without fail on there weekend. i couldnt even tell you when that was anymore. and once there gone and she cant figure out why her heart gets broken. why dont they want to see me? dont they love me? and every weekend her father dousnt shout "in the car were seeing the trampoline man" she starts believeing it even more and more. that was my nikename for him, daddys bestfriend. this little girl lost the people she had let in, let in to her family but she never stoped freely loving not till her 14th birthday. this little girl was all grown up. she had mostly gotten over her losses, was friends with emily again, was still friends with maddy, and had many many more. all these people she loved so much. then it came. the day at the restaurant. her world died for the second time, came crubeling down around her. she barely kept from bawling right there in the restaurant. this little girls been through so much. she cant stand the first 2 weeks of christmas, hates her birthday and cant wait to move out of the house. she closed her heart since then,but let it open for one guy, he remindeded her of thunderbay, they met at camp. he left but by then she was used to it. used to losing people it only hurt for awhile what he did,only because of the way he did it. fucking coward.
you might want to know why im telling you this. writing it out for the whole world to see. it could be so any mothers or fathers who mightof come accross this blog via the next blog button they might know to not pull her or him away from the few people they needed, or atleast told them why they couldnt see them anymore. it could be to show why my walls are so high, why i dont trust easily. it could be because im sick and tired of keeping this all in. it could be because im learning to trust again, and i need help. it could be because i learnt that somtimes its best to lose things, forget things and move on. it could be to show people whov been thru this that they will learn to live, to survive. it could be to keep others who come across this from doing the same mistakes i did. the worst one was leaving emily, other than katie she was my best friend and all i had left. but i left her behind, why? i wouldnt live thru watching her walk away from me. it could be because iv finally learnt to get over heartbreak. it could be because im scared of what i was back then and i hope no one goes back. it could be to show why im against drugs in all forms.. and no i wasnt a druggie at age 9, but i lived for the high i got off my stunts...i was never afraid of my own safety, frankly im surprised i surived; looking back, she allmost died because she was coppying me, it was somthing i allways did, she tried it once. if mother wasnt there...
it could be a bunch of those things, it could be all, it could be one. but if anyone takes anything from this. know to love always and trust freely. dont do what i did. im still broken have been since the age of 8, im like "just alice" now with her "harbringer" i dealt, i survived; not sure how but i did. i will. iv seen my friend now with somthing of a broken heart she loves the wronge guy. and i know from my past, hearbreak wouldnt even hurt me not for more than a few days, im not skared anymore. iv lost so much i learnt to deal. it breaks my heart now to see her like this because i remember how i felt. but it taught me to be stronge. i guess im a fast learner in anything that dousnt involve school.
"to love is to destroy and to be loved is to be destroyed" if i have done anything in this but scare my friends and bf(doubt hes reading this, which is good) would be to show why i named my blog after this book quote. maybe it will now make sense to the masses.
im sorry if you people are now scared for my sanity or getting mad at me for this
but i needed it out, iv gone through every part of the healing process but the talking about it
im not good at talking, i write more its easyer than explaining.
im not crazy, im not insane, i wont spiral into myself again.
iv put this all behind me, and iv learnt, iv get my strength from my past.
the only thing that can leave me never wanting to leave my room, is always thinking about that day in the restaurant, always wondering if i could have kept her going longer, kept her with me, with stan and granny longer. its the one of two only. things that will ever again make me nearly katatonic, this i can promise you guys, this i can promise. i wont get lost again.
ill never get lost again.
Motley
p.s the "alice" thing was mentioning the characture in the SyFy movie Alice, its really quite great.. maybe better than tim burtons. go rent it.
6/22/10
so i hold my breath till my heart explodes.
chilling here with danielle on my first day of freedom :)
i am offically done grade 10.
so anywho to make a pointless blog more pointless.
GRADUAL REPORT SUCKS
"you know what time it is"
Motley
i am offically done grade 10.
so anywho to make a pointless blog more pointless.
GRADUAL REPORT SUCKS
"you know what time it is"
Motley
6/20/10
we walked right out of the darkness
sooo im taking a break from studying.
so im here again. writing about absolutly nothing,
hmmm.
oh my rents are taking 2morrow off and going biking so im making dinner...
thomas might stay for that. especially if paola is at stalkers.
its our month aniversary tomorow.
unfortunatly he has an afternoon exam.
which reminds me, who had the genious idea of having an exam monday morning?
its at 9 but still. it would suck if that was your only exam to, i would be pissed.
so i bought this veet cream thing, its the in shower hair removal cream thingy, anyways im hoping it works because it will make my life over seas so much better if i dont have 2 shave everyday cuz its to much of a hassle. so ill let all you girlies who read this know if it works or not.
and break over;
Motley
so im here again. writing about absolutly nothing,
hmmm.
oh my rents are taking 2morrow off and going biking so im making dinner...
thomas might stay for that. especially if paola is at stalkers.
its our month aniversary tomorow.
unfortunatly he has an afternoon exam.
which reminds me, who had the genious idea of having an exam monday morning?
its at 9 but still. it would suck if that was your only exam to, i would be pissed.
so i bought this veet cream thing, its the in shower hair removal cream thingy, anyways im hoping it works because it will make my life over seas so much better if i dont have 2 shave everyday cuz its to much of a hassle. so ill let all you girlies who read this know if it works or not.
and break over;
Motley
6/19/10
6/18/10
talk to me tonight is everything allright?
DONE THE ROARING TWENTIES..
now the dirty thirties. then im practically done :D
now the dirty thirties. then im practically done :D
so im like studying for history and im so fucked... im only in the twenties..
luckily i still have my study notes for WWII so i dont have to repeat them.
so i dont have much left....
this is the first time i actually need a textbook to study with. why? my teachers a fuckiing idiot who can do good notes so without this thing i would fail.
anyways before continuing on to my hell.
i added this thing called "pages" i now have a quote page i can add to whenever i want to.
i kinda live it. its like epic.
i might do another page soon if i have an idea.
maybe lyrics?
i dunno its fun.
so back to hell.
Motley
luckily i still have my study notes for WWII so i dont have to repeat them.
so i dont have much left....
this is the first time i actually need a textbook to study with. why? my teachers a fuckiing idiot who can do good notes so without this thing i would fail.
anyways before continuing on to my hell.
i added this thing called "pages" i now have a quote page i can add to whenever i want to.
i kinda live it. its like epic.
i might do another page soon if i have an idea.
maybe lyrics?
i dunno its fun.
so back to hell.
Motley
6/16/10
doing it all night long...All night long
so this weekend i went to the first class for the italy abroad thing.
yup.
class.
saturday.
morning.
mother bout me dougnuts so that made it OK.
i just finished yet another registration form for the damn course... they might wonder why my emergincie contact is my aunt and not my rents..
oh well.
so yeah.. exams are comming up fast, im started studying today in science im quite proud of myself.. i dont usually start till the weekend before...
anyways im crashing now as i actually need to go to my first 2classes 2morrow
then im skipping the rest...
unless izzy wants to do the scavenger hunt.
Motley
yup.
class.
saturday.
morning.
mother bout me dougnuts so that made it OK.
i just finished yet another registration form for the damn course... they might wonder why my emergincie contact is my aunt and not my rents..
oh well.
so yeah.. exams are comming up fast, im started studying today in science im quite proud of myself.. i dont usually start till the weekend before...
anyways im crashing now as i actually need to go to my first 2classes 2morrow
then im skipping the rest...
unless izzy wants to do the scavenger hunt.
Motley
6/14/10
there aint no rest for the wiked
this has been an iteresting weekend.
im not going to attempt writing it here.
if your interested ask.
hmm what else?
oh its our month aniversary friday...
unless you do days instead of weeks
then it would be the 21st which is next monday.
hmm when should i give him his present?
lol im good at remembering days, most of the time.
OH thomas and i watched part of the italy soccer game today
he cheered for the other team just because they were against italy,
me thinks hes in a bit of trouble...
Motley
im not going to attempt writing it here.
if your interested ask.
hmm what else?
oh its our month aniversary friday...
unless you do days instead of weeks
then it would be the 21st which is next monday.
hmm when should i give him his present?
lol im good at remembering days, most of the time.
OH thomas and i watched part of the italy soccer game today
he cheered for the other team just because they were against italy,
me thinks hes in a bit of trouble...
Motley
6/10/10
help?
so i need help with my gym sonf choices as most of my shit is inapropriate.. so ill give you song names and lyrics tell me if i can or if i cant use them
cheak your head- buckcherry
Jesse died today, I heard the news its safe
Photographed nude at age 13
And Nick was a friend of mine, he died before his time
Dead on acid at age 18
Oh and you still bitch about your payments
Its funny how your looks predict your statements
I dress in black today, it represents this phase I'm in
And what it was i cant believe
This stain glass that your hiding behind, its from a different life
And what it was its still in your dreams, yeah, yeah
Oh and you still bitch about your payments
It's funny how your looks predict your statements
So check you head, set your eyes on your dreams girl
Be happy with nothing, well you're a site to see my love
So check you head, set your eyes on your dreams girl
Be happy with nothing, well you're a site to see my love
Woah, yeah
Alright, yeah
You fell out of line with some distance to go
It's not a design it's a talent show
And if you believe it's the end of the line you'll be taken
Now Jesse never thought that what she did would change my life
Well she just thought her life was a waste of time
And Nick worked hard to graduate and after that he died
He always thought high school was a waste of time
So check you head, set your eyes on your dreams girl
Be happy with nothing, well you're a site to see my love
So check your head, set your eyes on your dreams girl
Be, oh, be happy with nothing, well you're a site to see my love
Woah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Do it to me all night long
Yeah, yeah, yeah
come on feel the noize- quite riot (this ones long)
Come on feel the noise
Girls rock your boys
We'll get wild, wild, wild
Wild, wild, wild.
So you think I got an evil mind
I tell you honey
I don't know why
I don't know why
So you think my singin's out of time
It makes me money
I don't know why
I don't know why
Anymore
Oh no
So come on feel the noise
Girls rock your boys
We'll get wild, wild, wild
Wild, wild, wild.
Come on feel the noise
Girls rock your boys
We'll get wild, wild, wild
Baby!
So you say I got a funny face
I got no worries
And I don't know why
I don't know why
Oh I gotta sing with some disgrace
I'm in no hurry
And I don't know why
I don't know why
Anymore
No no no
Come on feel the noise
Girls rock your boys
We'll get wild, wild, wild
Wild, wild, wild.
Come on feel the noise
Girls rock your boys
We'll get wild, wild, wild
Come on!
Well you think we have a lazy time
You should know better
I don't know why
I don't know why
So you say I got a dirty mind
I'm a mean go getter
I don't know why
I don't know why
Anymore
Oh no
Come on feel the noise
Girls rock your boys
We'll get wild, wild, wild
Wild, wild, wild.
Come on feel the noise
Girls rock your boys
We'll get wild, wild, wild
Baby!
Come on, (come on) feel it
Girls rock your boys (come on, rock it!)
We'll get wild, wild, wild
We're gonna get wild! (wild, wild, wild)
We're gonna get rocked tonight (come on feel the noise)
Rock it tonight (girls rock your boys)
We'll get wild, wild, wild
OH YEAH!!
Ah, ah, ah (woooo)
Ah, ah, ah
Come on feel the noise
Girls rock your boys
We'll get wild, wild, wild.
Ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah
hot blooded- foreigner
Well, I'm hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded
You don't have to read my mind, to know what I have in mind
Honey you oughta know
Now you move so fine, let me lay it on the line
I wanna know what you're doin' after the show
Now it's up to you, we can make a secret rendezvous
Just me and you, I'll show you lovin' like you never knew
That's why, I'm hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, hot blooded
If it feels alright, maybe you can stay all night
Shall I leave you my key?
But you've got to give me a sign, come on girl, some kind of sign
Tell me, are you hot mama? you sure look that way to me
Are you old enough? will you be ready when I call you bluff?
Is my timing right? did you save your love for me tonight?
Yeah I'm hot blooded, check it and see
Feel the fever burning inside of me
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded, I'm hot
Now it's up to you, can we make a secret rendezvous?
Oh, before we do, you'll have to get away from you know who
Well, I'm hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded
Hot blooded, every night
Hot blooded, you're looking so tight
Hot blooded, now you're driving me wild
Hot blooded, I'm so hot for you, child
Hot blooded, I'm a little bit high
Hot blooded, you're a little bit shy
Hot blooded, you're making me sing
Hot blooded, for your sweet sweet thing
bad luck- social distortion
Some people like to gamble,
But you, you always lose.
Some people like to rock 'n' roll,
you're always singin' the blues.
You gotta nasty disposition.
No one really knows the reason why,
You gotta bad bad reputation.
Gonna hang your head down and cry...
chorus:
You got bad, bad luck.
Bad, bad luck.
You got bad, bad luck.
Bad, bad luck.
Thirteen's my lucky number,
To you it means stay inside.
Black cat done crossed my path,
No reason to run and hide.
You're looking through a cracked mirror.
No one really knows the reason why.
Your enemies are gettin' nearer.
Gonna hang down your head and cry....
chorus:
You got bad, bad luck.
Bad, bad luck.
You got bad, bad luck.
Bad, bad luck.
Some people go to church on Sundays,
others they pray at home.
You tell them that there ain't no God,
that they're better off standin' alone.
You're always scratchin' at the eight ball,
No one really knows the reason why.
You get to the top and then you fall,
Gonna hang down your head and cry.
cheak your head- buckcherry
Jesse died today, I heard the news its safe
Photographed nude at age 13
And Nick was a friend of mine, he died before his time
Dead on acid at age 18
Oh and you still bitch about your payments
Its funny how your looks predict your statements
I dress in black today, it represents this phase I'm in
And what it was i cant believe
This stain glass that your hiding behind, its from a different life
And what it was its still in your dreams, yeah, yeah
Oh and you still bitch about your payments
It's funny how your looks predict your statements
So check you head, set your eyes on your dreams girl
Be happy with nothing, well you're a site to see my love
So check you head, set your eyes on your dreams girl
Be happy with nothing, well you're a site to see my love
Woah, yeah
Alright, yeah
You fell out of line with some distance to go
It's not a design it's a talent show
And if you believe it's the end of the line you'll be taken
Now Jesse never thought that what she did would change my life
Well she just thought her life was a waste of time
And Nick worked hard to graduate and after that he died
He always thought high school was a waste of time
So check you head, set your eyes on your dreams girl
Be happy with nothing, well you're a site to see my love
So check your head, set your eyes on your dreams girl
Be, oh, be happy with nothing, well you're a site to see my love
Woah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Do it to me all night long
Yeah, yeah, yeah
come on feel the noize- quite riot (this ones long)
Come on feel the noise
Girls rock your boys
We'll get wild, wild, wild
Wild, wild, wild.
So you think I got an evil mind
I tell you honey
I don't know why
I don't know why
So you think my singin's out of time
It makes me money
I don't know why
I don't know why
Anymore
Oh no
So come on feel the noise
Girls rock your boys
We'll get wild, wild, wild
Wild, wild, wild.
Come on feel the noise
Girls rock your boys
We'll get wild, wild, wild
Baby!
So you say I got a funny face
I got no worries
And I don't know why
I don't know why
Oh I gotta sing with some disgrace
I'm in no hurry
And I don't know why
I don't know why
Anymore
No no no
Come on feel the noise
Girls rock your boys
We'll get wild, wild, wild
Wild, wild, wild.
Come on feel the noise
Girls rock your boys
We'll get wild, wild, wild
Come on!
Well you think we have a lazy time
You should know better
I don't know why
I don't know why
So you say I got a dirty mind
I'm a mean go getter
I don't know why
I don't know why
Anymore
Oh no
Come on feel the noise
Girls rock your boys
We'll get wild, wild, wild
Wild, wild, wild.
Come on feel the noise
Girls rock your boys
We'll get wild, wild, wild
Baby!
Come on, (come on) feel it
Girls rock your boys (come on, rock it!)
We'll get wild, wild, wild
We're gonna get wild! (wild, wild, wild)
We're gonna get rocked tonight (come on feel the noise)
Rock it tonight (girls rock your boys)
We'll get wild, wild, wild
OH YEAH!!
Ah, ah, ah (woooo)
Ah, ah, ah
Come on feel the noise
Girls rock your boys
We'll get wild, wild, wild.
Ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah
hot blooded- foreigner
Well, I'm hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded
You don't have to read my mind, to know what I have in mind
Honey you oughta know
Now you move so fine, let me lay it on the line
I wanna know what you're doin' after the show
Now it's up to you, we can make a secret rendezvous
Just me and you, I'll show you lovin' like you never knew
That's why, I'm hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, hot blooded
If it feels alright, maybe you can stay all night
Shall I leave you my key?
But you've got to give me a sign, come on girl, some kind of sign
Tell me, are you hot mama? you sure look that way to me
Are you old enough? will you be ready when I call you bluff?
Is my timing right? did you save your love for me tonight?
Yeah I'm hot blooded, check it and see
Feel the fever burning inside of me
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded, I'm hot
Now it's up to you, can we make a secret rendezvous?
Oh, before we do, you'll have to get away from you know who
Well, I'm hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded
Hot blooded, every night
Hot blooded, you're looking so tight
Hot blooded, now you're driving me wild
Hot blooded, I'm so hot for you, child
Hot blooded, I'm a little bit high
Hot blooded, you're a little bit shy
Hot blooded, you're making me sing
Hot blooded, for your sweet sweet thing
bad luck- social distortion
Some people like to gamble,
But you, you always lose.
Some people like to rock 'n' roll,
you're always singin' the blues.
You gotta nasty disposition.
No one really knows the reason why,
You gotta bad bad reputation.
Gonna hang your head down and cry...
chorus:
You got bad, bad luck.
Bad, bad luck.
You got bad, bad luck.
Bad, bad luck.
Thirteen's my lucky number,
To you it means stay inside.
Black cat done crossed my path,
No reason to run and hide.
You're looking through a cracked mirror.
No one really knows the reason why.
Your enemies are gettin' nearer.
Gonna hang down your head and cry....
chorus:
You got bad, bad luck.
Bad, bad luck.
You got bad, bad luck.
Bad, bad luck.
Some people go to church on Sundays,
others they pray at home.
You tell them that there ain't no God,
that they're better off standin' alone.
You're always scratchin' at the eight ball,
No one really knows the reason why.
You get to the top and then you fall,
Gonna hang down your head and cry.
6/8/10
i can give you what you want, but you gotta come home with me
Prior to departure students will participate in classes to be held on Saturday, June 12 and June 26, 2010
4 day till i meet the kids im stcuk with for 3 weeks
4 DAYS
4 DAYS
4 DAYS
FOUR D....A....Y....S
4DAYS4DAYS4DAYS4DAYS4DAYS4DAYS
sorry im a little exited...
so umm i bought Thomas somthing so he cant forget me this summer.. as we are both away.
its cute,
im good at cute.
kinda worried he wont like it thu.
i hope he douse.
and i do have more to write but im going to leave it here
as i am for like the 20 time -.- downloading sims on the desktop for my sister... i should be payd for this.
Motley
4 day till i meet the kids im stcuk with for 3 weeks
4 DAYS
4 DAYS
4 DAYS
FOUR D....A....Y....S
4DAYS4DAYS4DAYS4DAYS4DAYS4DAYS
sorry im a little exited...
so umm i bought Thomas somthing so he cant forget me this summer.. as we are both away.
its cute,
im good at cute.
kinda worried he wont like it thu.
i hope he douse.
and i do have more to write but im going to leave it here
as i am for like the 20 time -.- downloading sims on the desktop for my sister... i should be payd for this.
Motley
6/6/10
id rather be.
this house is not a home
home is where the heart is right?
i love my family and i would die without them,
but this place i live in? i cant wait to get out.
as soon as possible.
this place? its a house. not my home.
home to me?
anywhere with my friends, my family
and of course camp muskoka.
this big brick thing?
just keeps my shit dry,
i actually like my tent better.
its homey
and on that note i shall leave you.
looking for home sweet home
Motley
home is where the heart is right?
i love my family and i would die without them,
but this place i live in? i cant wait to get out.
as soon as possible.
this place? its a house. not my home.
home to me?
anywhere with my friends, my family
and of course camp muskoka.
this big brick thing?
just keeps my shit dry,
i actually like my tent better.
its homey
and on that note i shall leave you.
looking for home sweet home
Motley
6/5/10
what i felt, what i know.
so i got this from joc years ago and i saw it in my inbox
Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against The sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get! (maddy durring the ring lmfao)
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words. (all of you guys to me... i get confused alot..)
7. When you are sick -- Stay the heck away from me until you are well-danielle is all ovr this one :)-Again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsiness. (me to madison)
9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask;
"because you are my friend".
Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against The sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get! (maddy durring the ring lmfao)
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words. (all of you guys to me... i get confused alot..)
7. When you are sick -- Stay the heck away from me until you are well-danielle is all ovr this one :)-Again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsiness. (me to madison)
9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask;
"because you are my friend".
6/4/10
6/2/10
ill stay away
so ummm hi.
im straigtening my hair right now
holy fuck its to hot for this.
but he says my hair is beautiful
and convinced me to not chop it off like i do in the summa heat.
i will need a hair cut though,.. thin it enough before italy, but i guess the length shal stay.
weddings next saturday... 10 days
i really dont want to go to the 'state mannor' i dont want to see her gone,
she was so much like my Belly
so much like my Bells
i dont know how were going to tell my sister.
10 days.
Motley
im straigtening my hair right now
holy fuck its to hot for this.
but he says my hair is beautiful
and convinced me to not chop it off like i do in the summa heat.
i will need a hair cut though,.. thin it enough before italy, but i guess the length shal stay.
weddings next saturday... 10 days
i really dont want to go to the 'state mannor' i dont want to see her gone,
she was so much like my Belly
so much like my Bells
i dont know how were going to tell my sister.
10 days.
Motley
5/26/10
5/25/10
when i die this is how i wanna be taken out:
http://www.sixxsense.com/pages/diary.html?feed=380191&article=7154468
Motley
http://www.sixxsense.com/pages/diary.html?feed=380191&article=7154468
Motley
5/24/10
open lights fallin on the silver screen
so umm madison today txted me at the wronge time -.-
but other than that today was great.
and really a week ago i was soo pshycd for Italy, retourning to me home country :)
but now i kinda wanna stay here
keep these weeks going on forever
all this year iv wanted summer.
now its kinda like, days are going by to fast! slow down!
so yeah, thats it. im cryptic
get over it
Motley
but other than that today was great.
and really a week ago i was soo pshycd for Italy, retourning to me home country :)
but now i kinda wanna stay here
keep these weeks going on forever
all this year iv wanted summer.
now its kinda like, days are going by to fast! slow down!
so yeah, thats it. im cryptic
get over it
Motley
5/23/10
5/18/10
maybe im the one, maybe im the one
so umm this played on my ipod while running in gym today.
i had one person on my mind cuz this fits perfectly.
He's a tramp
But they love him
Breaks a new heart
Ev'ry day
He's a tramp
They adore him
And I only hope
He'll stay that way
He's a tramp
He's a scoundrel
He's a rounder
He's a cad
He's a tramp
But I love him
Yes,even I
Have got it pretty bad
You can never tell
When he'll show up
He gives you
Plenty of trouble
I
guess he's just a
No 'count pup
But I wish that he
Were double
He's a tramp
He's a rover
And there's nothing
More to say
If he's a tramp
He's a good one
And I wish that I
Could travel his way(x3)
YOU know what time it is forum..
time For the coment question of the day...
who was i thinking of?
:)
Motley
after lizs comment iv decided to spice this up a bit, first person to get it wins, something...
not quite sure what yet.
i guess it depends on who wins.
i do have purdys chocolate... :)
i had one person on my mind cuz this fits perfectly.
He's a tramp
But they love him
Breaks a new heart
Ev'ry day
He's a tramp
They adore him
And I only hope
He'll stay that way
He's a tramp
He's a scoundrel
He's a rounder
He's a cad
He's a tramp
But I love him
Yes,even I
Have got it pretty bad
You can never tell
When he'll show up
He gives you
Plenty of trouble
I
guess he's just a
No 'count pup
But I wish that he
Were double
He's a tramp
He's a rover
And there's nothing
More to say
If he's a tramp
He's a good one
And I wish that I
Could travel his way(x3)
YOU know what time it is forum..
time For the coment question of the day...
who was i thinking of?
:)
Motley
after lizs comment iv decided to spice this up a bit, first person to get it wins, something...
not quite sure what yet.
i guess it depends on who wins.
i do have purdys chocolate... :)
5/17/10
schooools out for summer
so here i am again. writing. again.
for moh. again.
actually no, this time i was actually gonna update this damn thingy anyways but now i have a time limit of must be done tonight, cuz i promised.
so iv decided the worlds fucked because i got burnt yesturday while walking around and i never, NEVER burn, like i know its not heat but intensity of suns rays or whatever but like the intesity is so much more down in italy right? yes. and i went through 3 or so weeks there in summer, without sunscrean and how much did i get burned? nadda, none, zip. and im out in CANADA for a day and i get burned.. it will turn into a tan today or tomorrow. but its like pissing me off because its CANADA. like dont get me wronge i love how its actually hot here now, but common we dont get that much sun rays campared to italy n spain. they get so much at like the hottest time of day they all pack up shop and go home to a cool glass of wine or somthing, like there all fuck this lets go home, then when its over and a little cooler, they all come back out.
so other than that it has been a great weekend. twas brittany and my party and it was epic if i do say so myself.
but that is all i am saying on the subject.
that n i need to go shoe shopping again, either that or get a new cork sole for my walking shoes, they survived all of italy but iv walked the cork down so much now they are no longer comfortable. so i needs new soles for it.
:)
motley
i miss you hayley!!! :)
for moh. again.
actually no, this time i was actually gonna update this damn thingy anyways but now i have a time limit of must be done tonight, cuz i promised.
so iv decided the worlds fucked because i got burnt yesturday while walking around and i never, NEVER burn, like i know its not heat but intensity of suns rays or whatever but like the intesity is so much more down in italy right? yes. and i went through 3 or so weeks there in summer, without sunscrean and how much did i get burned? nadda, none, zip. and im out in CANADA for a day and i get burned.. it will turn into a tan today or tomorrow. but its like pissing me off because its CANADA. like dont get me wronge i love how its actually hot here now, but common we dont get that much sun rays campared to italy n spain. they get so much at like the hottest time of day they all pack up shop and go home to a cool glass of wine or somthing, like there all fuck this lets go home, then when its over and a little cooler, they all come back out.
so other than that it has been a great weekend. twas brittany and my party and it was epic if i do say so myself.
but that is all i am saying on the subject.
that n i need to go shoe shopping again, either that or get a new cork sole for my walking shoes, they survived all of italy but iv walked the cork down so much now they are no longer comfortable. so i needs new soles for it.
:)
motley
i miss you hayley!!! :)
5/13/10
its over, no longer, i feel it growing colder
so my mom came home at like 1am- the garage door woke me up- last night(this morning?), so this mornin she gave us the shit she bought down in california, its pretty damn cool she got me this pink nail polish, but in the bottle it looks red, but when i painted my nails its pink -.- anyways its supposed to turn black in the sun, the uv rays change the colour, she also got me a keycahin that i turned into a neckalice, its clear and turns blue/purple/black i like it. and lastly i got a shirt, its male because she knew i wouldnt have like a bunch of flowers or whateves, so it has a skull on it, but its big so i have deemed it my beach shirt and the skull apparently turns yellow/orange in the sun, i might wear it saturday.
ohh and i switched the bottle with my sis, who got this pretty blue, im not sure whatcolour it changes into but the blue is really pretty and like till school out im stuck inside most of the time anyways -.-
so umm saturdays weather has decided to crap out on us, but no matter the plans shall go on as planned, i dont let a stupid thing like weather anoy me, after all i went through pompaii in the hottest time of day, where there is no shade to be seen. that was horrible, once the plain lands this time im buying one of those umbrella like things but made to repell sun not rain? there like paper, im gonna get a blue one.
and on the note of italy, the first day of class when we are still in canada (they have to so we have internet acsess to do a project) is the day of my uncles wedding, so i have to choice of wither blowwing of the class which might get me to fail in the end... OR show up with full make-up, shoes, and my dress. wont that be interesting...
on a side note im waering my old grad dress for anyone who remembers, because the weddings in my grannys backyard of the "state mannor" which is allways covered in mud in june. and since i dont care about the dress im wearing it along with convers or hiking boots as being outside im not about to ruin a pair of hells.
i said "state manor" because it deffinatly is not, and for those invited not of my fam, they are in for a huge surprise, it is a farm, with 3 dogs, one of which is still a puppy and another is getting bad habbits from such puppy. my uncle wrote state manor on the invite : held at joan and stans state manor. i read it and was all HAHAHAHAHA bullshit!
and those are my rants for the evening.
YOU know what time it is forum....
good night
Motley
ohh and i switched the bottle with my sis, who got this pretty blue, im not sure whatcolour it changes into but the blue is really pretty and like till school out im stuck inside most of the time anyways -.-
so umm saturdays weather has decided to crap out on us, but no matter the plans shall go on as planned, i dont let a stupid thing like weather anoy me, after all i went through pompaii in the hottest time of day, where there is no shade to be seen. that was horrible, once the plain lands this time im buying one of those umbrella like things but made to repell sun not rain? there like paper, im gonna get a blue one.
and on the note of italy, the first day of class when we are still in canada (they have to so we have internet acsess to do a project) is the day of my uncles wedding, so i have to choice of wither blowwing of the class which might get me to fail in the end... OR show up with full make-up, shoes, and my dress. wont that be interesting...
on a side note im waering my old grad dress for anyone who remembers, because the weddings in my grannys backyard of the "state mannor" which is allways covered in mud in june. and since i dont care about the dress im wearing it along with convers or hiking boots as being outside im not about to ruin a pair of hells.
i said "state manor" because it deffinatly is not, and for those invited not of my fam, they are in for a huge surprise, it is a farm, with 3 dogs, one of which is still a puppy and another is getting bad habbits from such puppy. my uncle wrote state manor on the invite : held at joan and stans state manor. i read it and was all HAHAHAHAHA bullshit!
and those are my rants for the evening.
YOU know what time it is forum....
good night
Motley
5/10/10
this is for moh who wanted me to update so he could read it cuz hes fail like that -.-
soo umm this is the storry of a camping outtrip a long time ago..
this is what happens when you take men out of the equation...
so there was this one girl and she kept loosing stuff so on a very windy day she left her watter bottle at one of the portages. me, her and a counsilor went out to find it. if we did not come back in an hour the rest of the campers would come after us. so we went out and got through the first portage and was paddeling and padleing till half way to the second portage when someone shifted and we tipped over, the three of us attempted to put the canoe upright but failed completly, after 5 mins of wondering what the fuck to do 2 canoes showed up and offered there help so we tought them how to do the canoe over canoe rescue and they righted our canoe, then we had to go fetch our paddels and safety kits and stuff and the people kept drifting away from us but they were to fucked up to paddel towards us so it took us an additional 10 mins to get to the friken canoes cuz we were draggin all our shit. finally we got back to camp. it was a cold and wet day. but interesting.
i have another stroy from that same outtrip but ill save it for another day moh wants to read some of my rambelings.
Motley
soo umm this is the storry of a camping outtrip a long time ago..
this is what happens when you take men out of the equation...
so there was this one girl and she kept loosing stuff so on a very windy day she left her watter bottle at one of the portages. me, her and a counsilor went out to find it. if we did not come back in an hour the rest of the campers would come after us. so we went out and got through the first portage and was paddeling and padleing till half way to the second portage when someone shifted and we tipped over, the three of us attempted to put the canoe upright but failed completly, after 5 mins of wondering what the fuck to do 2 canoes showed up and offered there help so we tought them how to do the canoe over canoe rescue and they righted our canoe, then we had to go fetch our paddels and safety kits and stuff and the people kept drifting away from us but they were to fucked up to paddel towards us so it took us an additional 10 mins to get to the friken canoes cuz we were draggin all our shit. finally we got back to camp. it was a cold and wet day. but interesting.
i have another stroy from that same outtrip but ill save it for another day moh wants to read some of my rambelings.
Motley
5/9/10
that was the last thing i expected to hear
the last thing i wanted to hear
and to think i went online to share the good news
to the only person i could talk to about the bad
im glad they can talk to me
i want them to talk to me
but i would have liked a few minutes
of us being happy about the news
before more bad news
the last thing i wanted to hear
and to think i went online to share the good news
to the only person i could talk to about the bad
im glad they can talk to me
i want them to talk to me
but i would have liked a few minutes
of us being happy about the news
before more bad news
5/7/10
you STOLE the body?
im watching bones, this ones one of the funnyest episodes
so its been a productive day for me;
woke up, went downstairs, got dad to call the school, went to bed, gave up attempting to sleep, read my book, watched bones, cleaned my ring, bones, went to school planned to be there for the afternoon but walking there didnt go over well so i grabbed my bike and gymclose and got my ass back on this damned couch, and again with bones. i need to get healthy and get the fuck out of this house for more than 30 mins -.-
ohh schools out, maybe somone will come online and talk to me
ohh the guy was killed with a cup of tea, but with the stuff thats like not in the pre-made bags, just the leafy stuff. i am not gonna be able to drink leafy tea for a very long time.
its raining again i like rain, its pretty. OHHH THUNDER :) or was that the tv? its raining there too apparently.
daddys getting me pizza for dinner, cuz its pizza friday.
yes i call my father daddy, piss off, imma daddys girl, hence die hard obsession.
anyways i love this pizza, its from Nova's, its the best pizza in town, theres also this Roma pizza you can get in fortino's, we dont have fortinos here but its epically good italian pizza.
oh and this is importnant, no ones paying me to say these things, if i mention somthing i like its stikly me liking it i dont get payed for these things, but seriously if ur eating at Dominos, or pizza pizza and you sick of the inchs of grease. cheak out Nova's.
hm ok, iv run outa things to talk about.
OHH i need to talk to cole, because like danielle, he makes life make sense, if that makes sense.
so that is it.
Motley :)
so its been a productive day for me;
woke up, went downstairs, got dad to call the school, went to bed, gave up attempting to sleep, read my book, watched bones, cleaned my ring, bones, went to school planned to be there for the afternoon but walking there didnt go over well so i grabbed my bike and gymclose and got my ass back on this damned couch, and again with bones. i need to get healthy and get the fuck out of this house for more than 30 mins -.-
ohh schools out, maybe somone will come online and talk to me
ohh the guy was killed with a cup of tea, but with the stuff thats like not in the pre-made bags, just the leafy stuff. i am not gonna be able to drink leafy tea for a very long time.
its raining again i like rain, its pretty. OHHH THUNDER :) or was that the tv? its raining there too apparently.
daddys getting me pizza for dinner, cuz its pizza friday.
yes i call my father daddy, piss off, imma daddys girl, hence die hard obsession.
anyways i love this pizza, its from Nova's, its the best pizza in town, theres also this Roma pizza you can get in fortino's, we dont have fortinos here but its epically good italian pizza.
oh and this is importnant, no ones paying me to say these things, if i mention somthing i like its stikly me liking it i dont get payed for these things, but seriously if ur eating at Dominos, or pizza pizza and you sick of the inchs of grease. cheak out Nova's.
hm ok, iv run outa things to talk about.
OHH i need to talk to cole, because like danielle, he makes life make sense, if that makes sense.
so that is it.
Motley :)
5/6/10
i absolutly hate being sick, it really really sucks.
so im watching happy days, and i had like pressed the menu to get to another episode... it tookk the whole disk before i realizedd it has an all episode button -.-
ugh at this point i would actually rather school, hope i can be there tom.
luv you kitty! :)
Motley
so im watching happy days, and i had like pressed the menu to get to another episode... it tookk the whole disk before i realizedd it has an all episode button -.-
ugh at this point i would actually rather school, hope i can be there tom.
luv you kitty! :)
Motley
5/4/10
and so i got bored...
for any family thats possibly reading this: do not tell my parents, do not let them find out, i would be grounded for the rest of my life. and yes that means i got my belly peirced w/o permision, dont lecture me.
http://www.bodycandy.com/cgi-bin/item/HC-1981
this is just strange, weird, and creeper. i like it. *rolls eyes* :) you luv me
and then someone at school (maybe kev?) thought about this:
http://www.piercethis2.com/BestFriendspage.html
and this makes for a highly random, stupid, pointless blog post.
you still luv me don't you?
Motley
so im home sick and got rlly bored waiting for my movie to load, so i went back to doing what i was doing before, and decided to continue this post
i saw this and instantly thought of forever 15, even though she doesn't have it pierced:
http://www.monstersteel.com/Tinkerbell-Logo-Navel-Ring-nid-700084.html
... luvluvluvluvluvluvluv...
http://cgi.ebay.com/Motley-Crue-Navel-Belly-Ring_W0QQitemZ260495375363QQcategoryZ98538QQcmdZViewItem
and this was highly amusing:
http://www.bellybling.net/doubellyle-gem-dangling-glowsticks-belly-button-rings-p-257.html
http://www.bodycandy.com/cgi-bin/item/HC-1981
this is just strange, weird, and creeper. i like it. *rolls eyes* :) you luv me
and then someone at school (maybe kev?) thought about this:
http://www.piercethis2.com/BestFriendspage.html
and this makes for a highly random, stupid, pointless blog post.
you still luv me don't you?
Motley
so im home sick and got rlly bored waiting for my movie to load, so i went back to doing what i was doing before, and decided to continue this post
i saw this and instantly thought of forever 15, even though she doesn't have it pierced:
http://www.monstersteel.com/Tinkerbell-Logo-Navel-Ring-nid-700084.html
... luvluvluvluvluvluvluv...
http://cgi.ebay.com/Motley-Crue-Navel-Belly-Ring_W0QQitemZ260495375363QQcategoryZ98538QQcmdZViewItem
and this was highly amusing:
http://www.bellybling.net/doubellyle-gem-dangling-glowsticks-belly-button-rings-p-257.html
4/28/10
is it just me or does everyone else need to call the person who told you to call whenever you needed to talk, but cant because you dont wanna talk about it or dont want him to wonder why your so worried about this because it could be nothing? and yet you know if you could hear that voice tell you everything will be fine you know you will feel better? but everytime you pick up the phone you put it down.
iv tought myself not to need anyone, iv done so because iv lost to much and i always new id have to go through everything alone. but i need you, i need you now. i need to just sit there and be held, forget everything, espescially the reason i need you.
im writing here because i taught myself not to need anyone and i now ther is no way of me telling you via txt, msn or call. im writing here because im sure you dont read it. im writing here because my friends will read this and go wtf? and then forget and thats what you should do, if you havent ever told me to call whenever i needed you and i told you to do the same.
well i need you, i just cant tell you.
Motley
*i know i shouldnt post this but i wrote it and im posting it, and if anyone asks i will ignore the question so dont bother, unless you know this is you i need.
iv tought myself not to need anyone, iv done so because iv lost to much and i always new id have to go through everything alone. but i need you, i need you now. i need to just sit there and be held, forget everything, espescially the reason i need you.
im writing here because i taught myself not to need anyone and i now ther is no way of me telling you via txt, msn or call. im writing here because im sure you dont read it. im writing here because my friends will read this and go wtf? and then forget and thats what you should do, if you havent ever told me to call whenever i needed you and i told you to do the same.
well i need you, i just cant tell you.
Motley
*i know i shouldnt post this but i wrote it and im posting it, and if anyone asks i will ignore the question so dont bother, unless you know this is you i need.
4/24/10
i cant stay with you now, cuz i am so ashamed
my stomachs all wtf did you just do to me for the past 2 days but its better now.
no longer in pain, mostly
I PLANED AN LIT DAY 2 FUCKING MONTH AGO FOR 2MORROW AND PPL STILL SAY THEY CANT GO, I FUCKING TOLD THEM TO PUT IT ON THEIR CALENDAR OR CELL PHONES OR WHATEVER AND DO WHATEVER THEY COULD TO GET TO THE FUCKING MALL BUT NOOO PEOPLE STILL DONT KNOW IF THEY CAN FUCKING GO OR NOT
last time this happend i was like fuck this you guys have 2 plan get 2 gethers now, but juess what? they didnt and that left me AGAIN.
rock of ages 2night :)
no longer in pain, mostly
I PLANED AN LIT DAY 2 FUCKING MONTH AGO FOR 2MORROW AND PPL STILL SAY THEY CANT GO, I FUCKING TOLD THEM TO PUT IT ON THEIR CALENDAR OR CELL PHONES OR WHATEVER AND DO WHATEVER THEY COULD TO GET TO THE FUCKING MALL BUT NOOO PEOPLE STILL DONT KNOW IF THEY CAN FUCKING GO OR NOT
last time this happend i was like fuck this you guys have 2 plan get 2 gethers now, but juess what? they didnt and that left me AGAIN.
rock of ages 2night :)
Motley
4/21/10
so im here instead of doing science because i did the idiot thing and clicked update when itunes asked me and now i am music less and cannot concentrate on the refractive index of rubies...
this is the worst topic people keep trying to sell me stuff instead of giving me info -.-
tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow
this is the worst topic people keep trying to sell me stuff instead of giving me info -.-
tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow
4/20/10
4/16/10
4/13/10
so much i cant tell
[[Hard to gain perspective when ya eyes wont close
It's hard to stand tall when you already on ya toes]]
It's hard to stand tall when you already on ya toes]]
4/6/10
im not like you, not a champion
2 weeks yesturday. 13 days
that is all
Motley
no i lied. dont you love me :)
anyways
bird of paradise
bluebell
gryphon
italy boot
Dog (Chinese Zodiac Symbol)
Born in 1922, 1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006, 2018
The Dog will never let you down. Born under this sign you are honest, and faithful to those you love. You are plagued by constant worry, a sharp tongue, and a tendency to be a fault finder, however. You would make an excellent businessman, activist, teacher, or secret agent.
im soo being a secret agent ;)
so umm that is all because bones starts in 2 mins and its a special episode and if anyone makes anynoise durring i will hit them. consider this fair warning...
2 weeks yesturday, 13 days
Motley
that is all
Motley
no i lied. dont you love me :)
anyways
bird of paradise
bluebell
gryphon
italy boot
Dog (Chinese Zodiac Symbol)
Born in 1922, 1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006, 2018
The Dog will never let you down. Born under this sign you are honest, and faithful to those you love. You are plagued by constant worry, a sharp tongue, and a tendency to be a fault finder, however. You would make an excellent businessman, activist, teacher, or secret agent.
im soo being a secret agent ;)
so umm that is all because bones starts in 2 mins and its a special episode and if anyone makes anynoise durring i will hit them. consider this fair warning...
2 weeks yesturday, 13 days
Motley
4/3/10
hey, your a crazy bitch
so i was at the one of a kind show yesturday and met up with joc just as i finished the rows, so i decided to stay with her, which was a good idea because i bought a belt from the place i was looking at for 3 years now or was it 4, either way iv never seen anything i liked but i always wanted one so like me when i went thru i didnt find anything i wanted then joc was like ok we are going to get you a belt when i told her, so we went and low and behold a motley crue belt :) so now i have one of their belts after 3-4 years of looking and its from my fav band all because of joc so umm kinda made my day right there :) anyways on the way home we called madison and were all hey call one of us back and as soon as she hung up i was like shit shes at the cottage so that was our small part of idiocy there.
so um stalkers over -.- and i cant wait till three when i can get ride of her cuz were going to grannys. or when taylor txts me back so we can work on our project... sad ppart is we dont have maggis number so were kinda fucked there, anyways if we get 2gether that would b good cuz its either due tuesday or wednesday and i also have to do my civics final project. yay... my topic for that was chief dan george which was on her list of ppl to pick but there was no info on him whatsoever anywhere! so i gave up an changed topics. but seriously why would she have him on the page if there isnt anyinfo on him at all? shouldnt she know that from past years?
anyways i gotta go work on it now before i forget again..
so um stalkers over -.- and i cant wait till three when i can get ride of her cuz were going to grannys. or when taylor txts me back so we can work on our project... sad ppart is we dont have maggis number so were kinda fucked there, anyways if we get 2gether that would b good cuz its either due tuesday or wednesday and i also have to do my civics final project. yay... my topic for that was chief dan george which was on her list of ppl to pick but there was no info on him whatsoever anywhere! so i gave up an changed topics. but seriously why would she have him on the page if there isnt anyinfo on him at all? shouldnt she know that from past years?
anyways i gotta go work on it now before i forget again..
17 days holy shit.. that means 12 till my birthday fuck i gotta study for my g1
Motley
3/29/10
raindrops keep fallen on my head do do dodo
lmao young booth singing makes my life :)
so its my birthday in like 17? days anyways what i really whan't i wont get soo besides that i would love a boxing bag. but nothing from my friends
Chief: How can we believe a man who would sell out his friends?
Siegfried: Dumkopf! Who else are you supposed to sell out? You can't betray enemies!
Shtarker: Let me let them have it. Dudududududu (making a machine gun noise).
Siegfried: Shtarker, zis is KAOS, we don't Dududu here.
Maxwell Smart: I think it's only fair to warn you, this facility is surrounded by a highly trained team of 130 black op snipers.
Siegfried: I don't believe you.
Maxwell Smart: Would you believe 2 dozen Delta Force commandos?
Siegfried: No.
Maxwell Smart: How about Chuck Norris with a BB gun.
ohh side note i kinda love get smart if u havent noticed :) and i mean the old tv series not the new movie.. but that was good to
22 days?
Motley
so its my birthday in like 17? days anyways what i really whan't i wont get soo besides that i would love a boxing bag. but nothing from my friends
Chief: How can we believe a man who would sell out his friends?
Siegfried: Dumkopf! Who else are you supposed to sell out? You can't betray enemies!
Shtarker: Let me let them have it. Dudududududu (making a machine gun noise).
Siegfried: Shtarker, zis is KAOS, we don't Dududu here.
Maxwell Smart: I think it's only fair to warn you, this facility is surrounded by a highly trained team of 130 black op snipers.
Siegfried: I don't believe you.
Maxwell Smart: Would you believe 2 dozen Delta Force commandos?
Siegfried: No.
Maxwell Smart: How about Chuck Norris with a BB gun.
ohh side note i kinda love get smart if u havent noticed :) and i mean the old tv series not the new movie.. but that was good to
22 days?
Motley
3/28/10
whatever you do, i do it to, show me everything and tell me how
so um im think im going crazy.. either that or im going phycic... since thats impossible, i guess im fucked -.- ohh it could be because iv either been reading or infromt of my laptop talking to people. so i pretty much spent all of yesturday in my room and then today half in my room and half secluded in the basement. that would probably explain the crazy theory. anyways i didnt realy wanna talk to my family at all, that and my sis had 2 friends over and my unlcles here now to so its kinda hard to avoid people, and i cant rlly say i why im avoiding them, but its not just them i wanted to go for a walk and i didnt incase i bumped into someone out there. so tomorows going to be interesting. anyways i have somthings to talk about but its night time now other wise ill sleep past period A n B tom
sleep tight cuties
23 days. damn i gotta start sudying for my g1, whered that damn book go?
Motley
sleep tight cuties
23 days. damn i gotta start sudying for my g1, whered that damn book go?
Motley
3/26/10
this is tribute to a friend im talking online to right now
hi.
im sorry i know how that sounded and it all came out wronge, and you know the first thing i did when you didnt reply? send my bff an offline message saying i fucked up with a friend and to call me like asap. when moh who im talking to aswell was like im bored entertain me in like im talking to this friend of mine and i think i just fucked up.
im not sure you even read this but if you do know that with all this shit thats happening your name was the first one that popped into my head when i decided i needed to talk to someone, and i was going to call but i was crying and theres this whole thing i have about not letting people see or hear me cry, but i seriously contimplated calling anyways.
my walls are still up to you but it wont take much to get through them because you are always there for me, like no matter what. i didnt think i could talk about this, when i thought about calling it was more to hear reasurance that someones out there thats always there for me no matter what. so many people were like that and i slowly lost them one by one, i have 2 left and the reason im trying not to let you in is because i cant stand to lose you, not now not ever.
im leaving now before i wite to much, and i dont even know if you read this or not. but it had to be writen
i love you
Motley
im sorry i know how that sounded and it all came out wronge, and you know the first thing i did when you didnt reply? send my bff an offline message saying i fucked up with a friend and to call me like asap. when moh who im talking to aswell was like im bored entertain me in like im talking to this friend of mine and i think i just fucked up.
im not sure you even read this but if you do know that with all this shit thats happening your name was the first one that popped into my head when i decided i needed to talk to someone, and i was going to call but i was crying and theres this whole thing i have about not letting people see or hear me cry, but i seriously contimplated calling anyways.
my walls are still up to you but it wont take much to get through them because you are always there for me, like no matter what. i didnt think i could talk about this, when i thought about calling it was more to hear reasurance that someones out there thats always there for me no matter what. so many people were like that and i slowly lost them one by one, i have 2 left and the reason im trying not to let you in is because i cant stand to lose you, not now not ever.
im leaving now before i wite to much, and i dont even know if you read this or not. but it had to be writen
i love you
Motley
3/24/10
whats with everyone headbutting over here?
so life. life is interesting.
i spent march break down at an art school living it up with the art geeks, it was kinda interesting. i had pottery kids in the morning ages between 8 and 12 there was this one kid, she continually asked my age, and wouldnt give up! so if a little kid asked how old i am.. im a MILLION years old :) anyways then in the afternoon i had little kids, i most of them were 6, i dont think anyone was 7. anyways they were the cutest kids. the first day i was like fml what did i get myself into? but after that it was smooth sailing, it was fun even.
anyways iv been writing this over a series of days, i seem to get bored in the middle of writing and doing somthing else and whateves. anyways right now im talking to my cousin, the younger one. well not really it was more like "is ur dad coming this weekend?" "yea, well his in toronto." "k so how are you?" both of us answered that question then the convo died. its like that with my family i guess, like with my friends i can talk for hours over msn bu family its like hi, hi so how are you? and thats about it.
so yeah thats all i can talk about because i cant talk about it.
ummmmm daysss.
25 days, OMG seriously? i remember when it was 80 :)
Motley
i spent march break down at an art school living it up with the art geeks, it was kinda interesting. i had pottery kids in the morning ages between 8 and 12 there was this one kid, she continually asked my age, and wouldnt give up! so if a little kid asked how old i am.. im a MILLION years old :) anyways then in the afternoon i had little kids, i most of them were 6, i dont think anyone was 7. anyways they were the cutest kids. the first day i was like fml what did i get myself into? but after that it was smooth sailing, it was fun even.
anyways iv been writing this over a series of days, i seem to get bored in the middle of writing and doing somthing else and whateves. anyways right now im talking to my cousin, the younger one. well not really it was more like "is ur dad coming this weekend?" "yea, well his in toronto." "k so how are you?" both of us answered that question then the convo died. its like that with my family i guess, like with my friends i can talk for hours over msn bu family its like hi, hi so how are you? and thats about it.
so yeah thats all i can talk about because i cant talk about it.
ummmmm daysss.
25 days, OMG seriously? i remember when it was 80 :)
Motley
3/23/10
far from home on the road unknown
Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir. Open it's jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us. Passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have?
i have nothing to say
28 days, not like you give a shit
Motley
i have nothing to say
28 days, not like you give a shit
Motley
3/21/10
found a way to pawn my soul for a swiftblade knife
HOME HOME HOME HOME HOME HOME HOME
my exitment just died.
im so sorry, i wasnt there now or then.
so sorry
i love you
Motley
my exitment just died.
im so sorry, i wasnt there now or then.
so sorry
i love you
Motley
3/10/10
this is just a curtesy call, this is just a matter of policy
ok i just had to write this down...
this is my new dream, i need 15,000 dollars, but i will do it before i die http://www.poseidonresorts.com
ok leaving now, be back in a little while
41 days (haha grabbed the ipod)
Motley.
no seriously this is the last post for a while
this is my new dream, i need 15,000 dollars, but i will do it before i die http://www.poseidonresorts.com
ok leaving now, be back in a little while
41 days (haha grabbed the ipod)
Motley.
no seriously this is the last post for a while
theres no money, theres no possessions, only obsessions, i dont need that shit
hi, im here to say goodbye. im not gonna write jack shit about my life for the next week or so. because who wants to read it anyways?
what i am going to say is this (these are about different people, exept the last one but whatever):
-get a life, i see her reason
-im beside you 100%
-wasnt pissed before, now im seriously ticked off
-get over your fucking bitchyness, its three hours. we miss you
-for once can you look at somone else and realise the worlds not all you you you?
and me:
-everythings falling apart
-dvsa are idiots, and they need to call me back before my mother gets home
-why is this all at once?
-britt n i are gonna have a killer party
-i miss my lits so fucking much, i need you guys so much right now
-might skip friday, might not
40 somoddd days
Motley.
were gonna kill somthing and we dont care what it is
what i am going to say is this (these are about different people, exept the last one but whatever):
-get a life, i see her reason
-im beside you 100%
-wasnt pissed before, now im seriously ticked off
-get over your fucking bitchyness, its three hours. we miss you
-for once can you look at somone else and realise the worlds not all you you you?
and me:
-everythings falling apart
-dvsa are idiots, and they need to call me back before my mother gets home
-why is this all at once?
-britt n i are gonna have a killer party
-i miss my lits so fucking much, i need you guys so much right now
-might skip friday, might not
40 somoddd days
Motley.
were gonna kill somthing and we dont care what it is
3/8/10
cant be your lover when im living like a rebel
hi my friend sapphire wrote a thingy on her blog and it hit me to, it happens to all girls like us, the guys are allways with the slutty hot girls and it makes us semi normal children feel unwanted. because were not hot, or wearing that new abercrombi shirt or lululemon sweater. were just us sitting in a corner waiting to be noticed [sigh this is tottaly ruining what i was going to talk about today. tommorow it is] this reminds me of when i went to the italian meeting. seriously i walked in and my only thought was im gonna be friends with those guys, they stood out spiked hair, peircings and combat boots. Unlike everybody else in that room who were what we now call preps, and of course the rich snobs were there to. i stood so far out, and i was in heels and my leathur jacket! like holy crap ppl, thats bad, there was like one other girl there to and i think she was thinking the same thing as me, she was like in sweatpants and a random shirt. only other normal female in the building aside from rents... back to the topic at hand me and my friends we gotta get out more, talk to more people, but unfortunaly our school...yup full of preps. surrounded everyday. its horrible.
i have run out of things to say so im going now,
43 days
Motley
i have run out of things to say so im going now,
43 days
Motley
3/4/10
just like a stripper whel always be back first.
^ nikki sixx is life people. life :) just saying
is it just me or does this not let you copy and paste?
ok so um hi again my friends have gone to baltimore (some of them) i kinda wish i could have gone to but like im allready going to italy and camp, i cant expect my rents to pay for somthing else to,
ok so the link is to sixx sense and it has proof of what im going to tell you.
in America they have a town called intercourse, hooker, spread eagle and other stupid things. can you image? "hey im from toronto where do you hail from?" "Intercourse." that would be an interesting converstaion...
more latter
47 DAYS
Motley
i may have to move to one of those towns just so i can say i lived there :)
is it just me or does this not let you copy and paste?
ok so um hi again my friends have gone to baltimore (some of them) i kinda wish i could have gone to but like im allready going to italy and camp, i cant expect my rents to pay for somthing else to,
ok so the link is to sixx sense and it has proof of what im going to tell you.
in America they have a town called intercourse, hooker, spread eagle and other stupid things. can you image? "hey im from toronto where do you hail from?" "Intercourse." that would be an interesting converstaion...
more latter
47 DAYS
Motley
i may have to move to one of those towns just so i can say i lived there :)
3/3/10
i am tired of waiting
sigh im taking off my nail polish... one hand down.
anyways some friends are leaving on a trip on the upside so are some of the preps so that will make livfit so much better. eww livfit friday first means yoga first, and i thought fridays couldnt get any longer.
anyways i think my sister wants to go to sleep which means i gotta turn my radio off, which generally means im gonna stop writing cuz theres no point
ipods down stairs, one sec ill google it. (isnt google wonderful {poll ppl})
48 DAYS
Motley
note to self: buy tired of waiting by the trews
anyways some friends are leaving on a trip on the upside so are some of the preps so that will make livfit so much better. eww livfit friday first means yoga first, and i thought fridays couldnt get any longer.
anyways i think my sister wants to go to sleep which means i gotta turn my radio off, which generally means im gonna stop writing cuz theres no point
ipods down stairs, one sec ill google it. (isnt google wonderful {poll ppl})
48 DAYS
Motley
note to self: buy tired of waiting by the trews
3/1/10
whos laughing now? well you, but i still win
i wore my blue eyeliner today, someone noticed. he complemented it in his own little way, went on for like 5 minutes then talked about my eyes. it feels nice to be noticed, liked.
so just talked to my cousin, that was interesting not much to talk about i guess, i mean we were close as children but i guess everything changes. omg his voice has deepend its kinda weird.. im kinda scared for the wedding or when i see him next, we were practically the same hight 1 1/2 years ago... holy shit i havent seen him in that long? fuck iv seen james more than him. wow another reason distance sucks.
Oh so umm i opend comments to all like my lj was so umm drop a line, leave a name. i like feeling wanted, even for breif passing seconds.
50 days
Motely
ps i decided that soon as that passes imma count the days to brittany and my sweet sixteen and then my uncles wedding and finnaly a split between italy and camp since i know camps more important but italy comes first. :)
so just talked to my cousin, that was interesting not much to talk about i guess, i mean we were close as children but i guess everything changes. omg his voice has deepend its kinda weird.. im kinda scared for the wedding or when i see him next, we were practically the same hight 1 1/2 years ago... holy shit i havent seen him in that long? fuck iv seen james more than him. wow another reason distance sucks.
Oh so umm i opend comments to all like my lj was so umm drop a line, leave a name. i like feeling wanted, even for breif passing seconds.
50 days
Motely
ps i decided that soon as that passes imma count the days to brittany and my sweet sixteen and then my uncles wedding and finnaly a split between italy and camp since i know camps more important but italy comes first. :)
2/28/10
and i want you to know it could not have been better
so again me and my two friends were 3,4 and 5th wheels to our couple. i think one day when we do camp get 2gethers he should come alone, so we get full attention but just 5%, no dont get me wronge i realy like her, shes nice but i sorta wanna hang out with my friend not my friends girlfriend! but other than that i had a great day.. me and the.(beautiful).let.down (dude you need a smaller name) met up with some camp friends.. well two and the girlfriend, we made the go train and ttc without getting raped so thats a plus :) we just chilled at the food court for two hours before everyone had to go to see the hockey game *sigh* and now one of the catherines are over *runs away*
{*side note* i just had dinner.. it was some crappy vegitarian shit from that cook book... so my sister bitches for like 10 minutes on how i dont like any vegitarian meal and bla bla bla my reants are like yea open your horizon eat it and shit like that. then i noticed what my sister was wearing MY favorite shirt and i pointed it out and my rents were all no no you gave it to her. BULLSHIT i can b thirty and it can have a millions hole and i would still have it, not wear it but have it, its special to me. my friends have seen what i feel about my camera.. it moultiplys way to much with that shirt. iv had it for years. no one would understand but its special to me, like a safty blanket i guess.}
im kinda happy. it was only awkward between me n him maybe once or twice through the intire thing which is very good, some part of me wants to take everything i said back, hide it behind one of my giant walls, hide it form the world put it back so we are what we were, so i dont have to watch what i say, wonder what he thinks, see what happens next and feel disapointed. but another part of me wants it like this, maybe it can get better, maybe i wont have to watch what i say, wonder what he thinks, hope for the best. but i know thats never gonna happen, so i guess im in the same boat as another friend of mine... well two friends of mine actually but distance isnt their problem.
oh yeah and saturday uhuh yup had so much fun being ignored by 8 different people at once... at least meghan seems to like me.
51 DAYS?
Motley
{*side note* i just had dinner.. it was some crappy vegitarian shit from that cook book... so my sister bitches for like 10 minutes on how i dont like any vegitarian meal and bla bla bla my reants are like yea open your horizon eat it and shit like that. then i noticed what my sister was wearing MY favorite shirt and i pointed it out and my rents were all no no you gave it to her. BULLSHIT i can b thirty and it can have a millions hole and i would still have it, not wear it but have it, its special to me. my friends have seen what i feel about my camera.. it moultiplys way to much with that shirt. iv had it for years. no one would understand but its special to me, like a safty blanket i guess.}
im kinda happy. it was only awkward between me n him maybe once or twice through the intire thing which is very good, some part of me wants to take everything i said back, hide it behind one of my giant walls, hide it form the world put it back so we are what we were, so i dont have to watch what i say, wonder what he thinks, see what happens next and feel disapointed. but another part of me wants it like this, maybe it can get better, maybe i wont have to watch what i say, wonder what he thinks, hope for the best. but i know thats never gonna happen, so i guess im in the same boat as another friend of mine... well two friends of mine actually but distance isnt their problem.
oh yeah and saturday uhuh yup had so much fun being ignored by 8 different people at once... at least meghan seems to like me.
51 DAYS?
Motley
2/26/10
pasts
so my past thing was http://boneslover24.livejournal.com
so hmm im probably going to do the same thing as in lj, um i write whatever i hear in the tittle so music, tv, sister, whatever.
umm im kinda in LOVE with photoshop so if i have a picture that dousnt have a persons face in it i shal post here. :)
uh me n my bestie have like codes so if nothing makes sence its because im using those instead, incase family or whateves is reading this, if it dousnt make sence ask if i like you i might just explain.
53 days
Motley
so hmm im probably going to do the same thing as in lj, um i write whatever i hear in the tittle so music, tv, sister, whatever.
umm im kinda in LOVE with photoshop so if i have a picture that dousnt have a persons face in it i shal post here. :)
uh me n my bestie have like codes so if nothing makes sence its because im using those instead, incase family or whateves is reading this, if it dousnt make sence ask if i like you i might just explain.
53 days
Motley
2/25/10
first day
hello i am here transfering from LJ so
um madison wanted her name mentioned so here goes nothing...
im counting days till April the 20th
Motley is a camp name
and i think thats all i have for now OH and im listening to sixxsence apparently in 2016 there gonna make pole dancing an actuall cometitive sport in the olympics. mads you think we got a chance? lmao :P
54 DAYS
MOTLEY
WOW this format is pretty much the same as lj...
um madison wanted her name mentioned so here goes nothing...
im counting days till April the 20th
Motley is a camp name
and i think thats all i have for now OH and im listening to sixxsence apparently in 2016 there gonna make pole dancing an actuall cometitive sport in the olympics. mads you think we got a chance? lmao :P
54 DAYS
MOTLEY
WOW this format is pretty much the same as lj...
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